October

As many of you know, the first two months here in Cote d’Ivoire are dedicated to preparation for the full time ministry I will be doing later.

I’ve been studying French, and it’s been encouraging to see my French improve from classroom theories to practical phrases and heartfelt conversations. I really treasure one conversation I had with a Cameroonian girl here, about how we saw a lot of growth in our walk with God when we left our childhood homes. She said that in Cameroon she liked Jesus but she didn’t ‘know’ Jesus until she was here in Cote d’Ivoire. The conversation didn’t happen quickly, or particularly elegantly, but we were able to express ourselves and share something special.

I’ve also dedicated myself in my free time to studying Djoula, Senoufo, and German. And although my capacity in those languages doesn’t cover much more than greetings, numbers, and random objects, it’s been a joy to see how irreplaceable it is to learn other’s heart languages.

Besides language study, we’ve had seminars on culture shock, emotional baggage, health, daily hygiene, history and geography of Cote d’Ivoire, Islam, evangelism and missions, and most recently history of the church. For language and cultural practice I have visited a pottery village, the pagne (fabric) market, the sheep market, a university, and a mosque. And then most recently I have been regularly visiting a catholic orphanage to help care for the babies there.

I’ve learned so much, but the more I understand, it seems like the more questions I begin to have. I understood that my Cameroonian friend liked Jesus but didn’t know him, but I want to know why in French, connaître (to know) Jesus is, for lack of a better word, better than liking or loving him?

And it seems like now that my mind has started questioning things, it’s questioning everything. Why did God want me here? What will I do here? What can I do here? What should I do here?

Here’s some things God has revealed to me:

• “Without faith it is impossible to please God” - Hebrews 11:6. So I have been praying a lot for faith.

• 1 Peter 2:19 says “For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God.” Also later in verse 23, there is the example of Jesus “when they hurled insults at him he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” This verse I found really beautiful because I understood that peace in trouble comes from knowing God. So I have also been praying that God would help me become conscious of Him.

I don’t know the answer to my questions but I think that part of faith is just not knowing and seeking God for today and for right now.